Hi! I'm a Monica.

UNBECOMING & Healing the Sisterhood Wound

Published over 1 year ago • 3 min read

Episode 138: Libby Bunten - UNBECOMING & Healing the Sisterhood Wound

Published on August 16, 2022

Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that is not you so that you can discover, reveal, and embrace the truth of who you are.


"It’s “unbecoming for a lady to sit like that!" was a phrase I heard often growing up.

Unbecoming is a term that has been used to manipulate and condition girls and women for generations. It’s part of the grooming process into the patriarchal trance of unworthiness that keeps us from revealing our true thoughts, feelings and self expression. Like an IV drip inserted at birth, our culture micro doses these messages.

From the time we were little girls, we have been taught to be pretty pleasing and polite. Anything that was deemed unbecoming was suppressed, invalidated or punished because to disempower generations of women means that the system of domination and control will keep us believing that we will never be enough, and when we are preoccupied with our own feelings of insufficiency, we can easily be manipulated and kept in invisible cages.

We are conditioned to abandon our truth in exchange for love and belonging until many of us lose touch with who we truly are underneath all of the layers of the false self, and yet the cumulative effects become unbearable over time as the true self longs to be seen, valued, and revealed.

In addition to this, so many women suffer in isolation. Part of the insidious nature of patriarchy is that it's a system that conditions us to mistrust other women, and stay in a suspended immature state where we don't know that there's another way to be with other adult women other than the way we've been taught- which is to compete, gossip, and keep each other at arm's length.

As many of you already know disrupting these patterns are my passion- and it's what The Revelation Project is all about.

Helping women reveal, heal and embrace their whole selves before they become sick, depressed, or worse.

At the root of our suffering is the invisible system of patriarchy and it's intersecting systems that hide in the mundane routines we call normal modern life.

I'm determined to disrupt these patterns and help as many women as possible to reclaim their vitality, passion and purpose.

In this episode Libby and I talk about the process of unbecoming and the coaching circle we will be co-facilitating this October called UNBECOMING for an intimate group of women who are ready to break the bullshit rules and gain the tools, teachings, and embodiment practices of revelatory feminine leadership.

Soon, we will be sending out more details, so click here if you'd like to add yourself to our waitlist!

In this episode we address:

* The sisterhood wound and why it's a powerful part of the patriarchal trance.

* Unbecoming and why is it relevant for all women.

* How “the inner child” is part of the bigger picture.

* What is it like to be with women who no longer gossip, strive to compete or fix you.

* Why learning to receive (pleasure, gifts, help, compliments, opportunities) is a massive part of unbecoming.

* How the sisterhood wound keeps us in isolation.

* When a woman does not approve of herself it costs the world.

* Why is the sisterhood wound at the very heart of perpetuating patriarchy? How do we re-contextualize a positive way women can be together in community? Is it possible?

* Hear more about Libby’s awakening and how she came to recognize the trance in her own life.

* Monica shares her own experience of joining a group coaching circle for the first time and how it changed her life.

* BONUS: Monica and Libby engage in other “extra” antics that you are sure to enjoy because that's how we roll.

Libby Bunten is an embodiment coach and Social Marketing professional whose passion is to strengthen the lives of women in her local community and beyond. Raised in a quintessential Maine coastal town, Libby always did “whatever it took” to make a living and get the job done. Before a career in social marketing, she did everything from manual labor to freelance writing. A brief stint in a toxic, patriarchal, corporate work environment propelled Libby to pursue an MS in Clinical Psychology which ultimately led to her work in feminist leadership development with like-minded, independent and irreverent women. She recently founded and launched her newest group coaching program, Self-Approval School, where women come together in Sisterhood in new ways to remember who they really are, break the bullshit rules, and learn to give themselves the stamp of Self-Approval. When she isn't cheering women on, you can find her traveling with her bagel slinging hunk, Paul, singing karaoke, or in deep surrender to the abyss that is the journey of healing.

Do you follow me on Instagram?


Hi! I'm a Monica.

How can I help you?

Through group coaching and individual mentoring, I guide women through their inner (r)evolution. As a transformational coach, I am passionate about sacred rites of passage, the feminine, and divesting from patriarchal programming so women can activate their innate wisdom, reconnect to vitality, and tap back into pleasure, joy, and laughter. Check out my podcast here:

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